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Sex After Pregnancy 
3rd-Dec-2012 11:45 am [post partum sex]
Mad Hyena
I'm pregnant with my first and wondering about sex after pregnancy. For those of you who already have given birth, how long did you wait to have sex again? Did it feel different? What was different about it? I know these questions are personal, but it's really something I've never heard anyone talk about and I'm very curious!
3rd-Dec-2012 05:59 pm (UTC)
The typical wait time is 6 weeks after delivery for a vaginal birth. It give time for everything down there to heal, your cervix to heal/close up and lohcia typically lasts 6-8 weeks after the birth. The only thing different about post baby sex is the amount of time your body takes to be comfortable with the act again. Sex post baby was painful for the first 6-8 months after we started back up (we started at the 6 wk pp after my first and 8 wks pp after my second).
Also, if you choose to breastfeed, the prolactin your body produces inhibits your ability to self lubricate, so use LOTS of lube. The first time my hubby and has sex after each child, we literally used 1/2 bottle of astroglide and went extremely slowly and it was still very painful.
3rd-Dec-2012 09:52 pm (UTC)
I never knew that about breastfeeding and lube!
3rd-Dec-2012 06:00 pm (UTC)
We were told to wait at least 6 weeks to have sex and really only when you are ready obviously and if you aren't, I'm sure hubby will understand if you have to stop. It was around 4 weeks after I delivered, it was different then I would've imagined it would be. I felt more tight, I sometimes still do. It felt like I was having sex for the first time but after the second time having sex it was more pleasurable for me. If you aren't allergic to lubrication, I recommend using that to help, for us it did.
3rd-Dec-2012 06:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you for this! I was scared it'd never be pleasurable again, ha. I know there are bigger fish to fry with a newborn, but people freely talk about that. Sex after baby seems to be one of those hush hush subjects.
3rd-Dec-2012 06:37 pm (UTC)
Yes totally, no one prepares us, only for baby and what to expect FOR baby and ABOUT baby. Even after delivery and what your body goes through is something I wish I have more knowledge about.
4th-Dec-2012 04:41 pm (UTC)
Agree, having sex after my first baby was painful and like losing my virginity again. I was surprised because I'd had a c section, but I think that was because of the whole mess of stuff that happened before he was delivered. Sex after my second was a lot easier, despite having birthed vaginally and torn.
4th-Dec-2012 04:51 pm (UTC)
Oh really, I'm pregnant again for the second time. Good to know its a bit easier the second time. I ended up having to get cut the first time so I wouldn't tear.
3rd-Dec-2012 06:21 pm (UTC)
We waited five weeks. I probably would've waited the full six weeks, except I wanted to have sex on my wedding night, which was five weeks after my boy was born! I had a second degree tear, so that was a little painful and things were kind of dry down there :/ but if you're fully healed and use lube, it's still a pleasurable experience ;)
3rd-Dec-2012 06:23 pm (UTC)
We waited 6 weeks after I had a vaginal delivery.

It was a little different due to the tearing/stitches I had. It was a little sore / painful the first few minutes the first couple of times we had sex, but it went away after that... everything else has been the same / normal since. :)
3rd-Dec-2012 06:24 pm (UTC)
I had a fourth degree tear after my first kid, so I waited at least two months. It took a long time for the scar tissue to really stretch out. I breasted my son, but once he really got into solids and nursed a little less -- around 9 months or so -- sex got a lot better. Hormones, yay!
3rd-Dec-2012 06:35 pm (UTC)
We waited two weeks. My small tear had healed and I felt ready. We took it slow, it felt good, the next time felt better. :) It really depends on you and your body but like everyone else said the recommended waiting period is 6 weeks. :)</p>

The only difference I noticed is that my cervix had changed so some positions became uncomfortable, but we just found new ones to replace them. Ha.

3rd-Dec-2012 06:37 pm (UTC)
We waited 8 weeks total- I had an IUD put in at 7 weeks postpartum and let it settle/waited until I stopped bleeding & cramping. I was feeling normal by maybe 3 or 4 weeks, though, so if we'd had the time, energy, and condoms, I think we'd have been fine to have sex earlier. The first time we went really slow, but once we got started, it was pretty much the same as it was pre-baby. Just, you know, really quick and really quiet. I'm still breastfeeding, so I guess I'm a little drier, but it's not enough to bother with lube.
3rd-Dec-2012 07:04 pm (UTC)
I had a forceps delivery in the end and they cut me... I'm not sure to what degree, though... but it was big to me... must have been a big cut... all I remember is they said they had to cut through quite a bit of the 'wall'. Ehhhhhh!

We probably tried about two months later and it was excruciating and we stopped. I wasn't in the mood at ALL and I was SCARED. He was very understanding. I don't think it got normal until 1 year after...

I probably could have tried harder, on my end. I was so consumed with my son as I was breastfeeding, too, so I felt all my moments were taken up and the last thing I ever thought about was sex. I am so grateful he was so patient and understanding during that period but eventually after so long I bit the bullet and we got lube and did it... and it was painful, really tight, etcetera. After a few times it started to feel more and more normal.

All I can say is try not to be as scared as I was! I probably wasted a lot of time and prevented us just getting things normal again. After we have this second baby, I'm going to make more of an effort to get over it.
3rd-Dec-2012 07:17 pm (UTC)
Six-eight weeks. I had an episiotomy that required some silver nitrate - that had made sex uncomfortable but once the silver was on it, boom, it was all better.

I don't think I noticed anything all that different with regards to sex. Just waited and then got busy again after everything was healed up.
3rd-Dec-2012 07:21 pm (UTC)
I had very bad scar tissue formation, I think from a reaction to the suture material, and it took me a long long long time to realize it was not normal to be so, um, *tight* postpartum. I sought out care from a physical therapist that specializes in women's issues and remedied it within a few weeks.

PSA: So, if things aren't seeming right 6 or so weeks postpartum, don't be satisfied if your midwife/OB blows off your concerns.
3rd-Dec-2012 08:32 pm (UTC)
It felt the same. I just waited until like 7 weeks because I'd had stitches down there and was afraid I'd rip open lol. It hurt for the first couple times but it got back to normal pretty quickly.
3rd-Dec-2012 08:58 pm (UTC)
We started having sex 4 weeks after dd was born. It was sore the first few times for me, but dh swears my episiotomy scar made sex feel sooo much better lol
3rd-Dec-2012 09:28 pm (UTC)
3 weeks the first 3 times, then 2.5 weeks after my 4th, and a whopping 10 days after my 5th. you can't expect me to remember how it was each time, but I know after my first baby, it was pretty painful the first few times. I think after my second, too. not so bad after the others. as for enjoying it again.. there's a reason I'm pregnant with my 6th kid, ok?
3rd-Dec-2012 09:32 pm (UTC)
I tried around 6 weeks, but failed miserably. I tore, got stitches and an adhesion and had my adhesion torn and cauterized at six weeks PP. It took a few months for my scar tissue to soften up enough that sex wasn't really painful. Some positions were better than others.
3rd-Dec-2012 09:36 pm (UTC)
I waited 6 weeks (after an emergency c-section after failed attempt at vaginal birth & being induced at 38.5 weeks due to PIH) and even after that it was pretty painful... I don't know why, just felt like I couldn't open up or something. That area does go through a bit of trauma, vaginal OR c-section delivery... Eek. I have found that a natural lube (by Honey Girl) is my best friend when it comes to sex w/ DH. That and just having him go slow. But yes, I'd wait the 6 weeks for SURE. I have a feeling it would have hurt even more if I hadn't... And invest in some good/natural lube!
3rd-Dec-2012 09:58 pm (UTC)
Well I had a c section and I always brag that the best part about it is my lady parts are the same as they've ever been lol. I stopped bleeding after 4 weeks and it was still a little painful just from lack of action the last few months of my pregnancy. Like a rubbed raw feeling but it got back to normal quick. I think the bigger issue for us wasn't anything postpartum it was just being new parents and having a newborn! If that baby is going to sleep you have to decide if spending a chunk of that time on sex is more important than sleeping yourself, for me it really wasn't at 1st
4th-Dec-2012 02:07 am (UTC)
8 weeks for me. I mostly waited because I was scared... Although I missed sex a lot it's a tough thing to just do when you've barely just started wiping with toilet paper again. It didn't feel different unless we were positioned wrong, and eventually it all felt normal, except a little dry while I was breast feeding.
4th-Dec-2012 02:33 am (UTC)
I'm early in my pregnancy with my first, so if you can indulge me . . . you don't wipe with toilet paper after birth?
4th-Dec-2012 03:02 am (UTC)
You may have some tender and/or damaged areas after a vaginal delivery. If so, the hospital will likely provide you with a squirt bottle, and tucks pads may feel better. Don't worry, it all heals back up normal if you take good care of yourself :)
4th-Dec-2012 03:54 am (UTC)
Here's to hoping.Thanks for the info!
4th-Dec-2012 02:55 am (UTC)
I waited until 6 weeks, and then a couple weeks beyond since I was still a tiny bit sore and didn't want to risk it.

I was nervous, to be honest! my husband and I have a great sex life so going 8 weeks with no sex (Well, intercourse) made me feel almost shy again, lol. As for how it physically felt, it was a tiny bit tender and I did feel a bit sore afterward, the next day, but my husband is not small and I am... so that may have contributed. I had an episiotomy and that didn't hurt the next day, but I could feel it a little, if that makes sense. I personally didn't need lube despite EBF and I haven't noticed a huge difference in that aspect. I feel pretty lucky all around.
4th-Dec-2012 03:00 am (UTC)
With my last baby, my husband and I waited 5 days. I had a really easy, uncomplicated vaginal birth, so when the soreness went down and I felt up to it, we did.
4th-Dec-2012 04:38 pm (UTC)
I had an emergency c section with my first after a very long labour. I had sex after 2 weeks because I was ridiculously horny, but still felt a bit sore as I had a long second stage and my son had been stuck.

I had a HBAC with my 2nd, he was born in November 2011. I sustained a bad second degree tear because of an extremely quick emergence. I felt healed externally quite quickly but internally I took a bit longer. I was also quite dry because of BF, so I waited until the very end of March and used lots of lube. It was fine and enjoyable, probably a little better than before because I've always been very tight down there and now things are a little bit more stretchy! It did sting about around my vaginal entrance and I found I had to adjust positioning a little on penetration, but that was extremely brief and not at all noticeable during sex.

I was very open about it with my partner at the time and he said he certainly didn't notice any looseness. It's embarrassing but I was worried my muscles would be really slack and I'd be really big. If anything they were better than before because I'd been so fanatic about doing my squats and kegel exercises. I did notice that at the top of my vagina near my cervix, things felt a little more open, but not anything that impacted my ability or my partners ability to enjoy sex.
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