You are viewing pregnant

The Pregnant Community
Vigilance and an "Open Mind" 
advice
Of the nearly ten friends I have polled, only two of them had an unmedicated birth and one of those had a home birth. All the others had an epidural (no judgment) and all seem to repeat the same refrain, "It's great that you want to have a natural birth, but you should keep an open mind." I find it interesting that my mind needs to "open" to what seems like the default.

I *really* want to try and be vigilant (without being mean or hostile to medical pros who are just doing their job/following protocol) towards a natural birth for a number of reasons, none of them having to do with me trying to probe a point or "be Superwoman". Thus far, I am planning to:

1) try hypnobirthing (just ordered book and CD today)
2) arm my husband with a bunch of index cards that he can read during labour (in the event that I ask for an epidural) where he can read off encouragements and reasons why I should try to go unmedicated (my husband is not that great at thinking on his feet, thus the index cards)
3) give the staff my birth plan that asks them not to come up to me and offer any epidural/wait for me to ask
4) stay at home as long as possible (my doctor and labour class coach have both strongly advised this)

Does anyone know of any other strategies? Any other thoughts about this whole thing? Again, I am not judging any one else's decision and I know complications can happen, but the more I learn about how astronomically high the epidural rate can be and the more I speak to people and find so few that went the natural route, the more I think I need to go in very prepared rather than just "keeping an open mind". Thanks in advance for your feedback.
Comments 
17th-Dec-2012 09:30 pm (UTC)
GET A DOULA!!!

:)
17th-Dec-2012 09:43 pm (UTC)
THIS!
18th-Dec-2012 01:10 am (UTC)
Agreed.
18th-Dec-2012 02:24 am (UTC)
This!

My labors were relatively fast and complication free (8 hours active labor the first time and 3 hours active labor the second time) but without my doula I don't know that I would have ended up with a natural hospital birth - she was a god send!
18th-Dec-2012 02:28 am (UTC)
THIS X100,000,000,000



Someday my dream is to have enough money to offer doula service for free to women.
18th-Dec-2012 12:55 pm (UTC)
yep.
18th-Dec-2012 06:30 pm (UTC)
... and this concludes this entire thread. :)
17th-Dec-2012 09:31 pm (UTC)
I don't think I am going to be able to have an unmedicated birth, but I don't think you need to be "open" to pain drugs. That's just silly. You won't die from pain. You don't have to prepare yourself to accept them if you don't want them (they'll still be there anyway).

I think having your husband or even another advocate might be the most important thing in a hospital setting. From my experiences with pain and distance athletics, I've found that the most important thing is encouragement when you falter. I don't know your husband, but some might not be able to handle encouraging their wife to continue to be in so much pain. I hired a doula to help make sure my wishes are communicated.

Anyway, I wish you luck, because I'd personally prefer an unmedicated birth myself.
17th-Dec-2012 09:36 pm (UTC)
I second the part about spouses being overwhelmed and maybe not the best for encouragement. Good point:) My husband though awesome in foreign lands, being shot at and jumping out of airplanes..was completely out of his element and felt completely helpless during my labor/birth and so I was very happy that we chose to have a Doula who helped with the encouragement and such. My poor husband was so...not having a wonderful time and just worried the whole time...like big time. He was sort of hanging out in the background and letting all us women to our birthing stuff (doula, supportive nurses, me, etc). So yes to this!
17th-Dec-2012 09:37 pm (UTC)
I don't even have a husband, but it's hard to watch someone you love suffer. He could possibly be trained to stand firm, though, and I know some men would do just fine. It really just depends.
17th-Dec-2012 10:20 pm (UTC)
This was my experience as well. He went to the classes, read the books, we talked everything over, but when it came to actual labor, he was so lost and freaked out and (afterwards) I felt terrible for him! Fortunately I had an awesome midwife to get me through the pushing part but I really could have used some support before she was there, and hence why we're getting a doula this time.
17th-Dec-2012 09:32 pm (UTC)
Personally, I didn't find it hard to turn down the epidural (although I did ask for IV meds). If you don't want it, just say no and make sure your husband knows to stick by you on it. I don't know if it's necessary to arm yourself with reasons to go unmedicated--if you change your mind, then you change your mind. I don't see why you should expect to have to talk yourself out of getting an epidural. Did the women you talked to plan on natural and change their minds during labor?
17th-Dec-2012 09:36 pm (UTC)
I think I would have been a lot more successful in my goal for a natural birth if I'd had a doula. I mean, I love my partner, but he was NO HELP AT ALL. I was breathing too fast and starting to panic because I was getting lightheaded, and it's hard to manage your pain when you're frantic like that. I was a million times better when a nurse was in the room reminding me of how to breathe and telling me how great I was doing, but I wasn't her only patient who needed her. I really wish I'd had someone like her there the entire time. I don't care what it costs or how hard she is to find -- I will have a support person next time!
17th-Dec-2012 09:45 pm (UTC)
I think a lot of times when someone says "keep an open mind" they aren't necessarily talking about the pain medication. I think they often are referring to the fact that us natural birthers want the "perfect" birth (*sarcasm*) and so many things can change. They believe that we are all 100% tied to our birth plans and any changes to it are absolutely awful and thus, our birthing experiences will be ruined. I'm also planning a natural birth (only 8 weeks here so I've still got awhile) but on different forums I've been told to "keep an open mind" a lot (that's one of the nicer comments tbh!)... mostly from women who claim that our birth plans are ridiculous and assume that we aren't keeping an open mind in the first place.

But regardless, I'm hiring a doula to help with labor support. I really will need someone knowledgable walking me through the feelings and emotions I'm going through. I just don't think my husband will be able to help like a doula would (as much as he wants to--he's already feeling bad that he won't be able to help a lot).

Edited at 2012-12-17 09:46 pm (UTC)
17th-Dec-2012 09:49 pm (UTC)
I think a lot of times when someone says "keep an open mind" they aren't necessarily talking about the pain medication. I think they often are referring to the fact that us natural birthers want the "perfect" birth (*sarcasm*) and so many things can change.

I agree with this and many things can change, especially the first time round. With my first I wanted an unmedicated homebirth and ended up with a medicated hospital birth.
With my second I had an unmedicated hospital birth (although again I did want a homebirth).

Once in labour you cannot keep complete control of everything I have found and being able to let go and keep an open mind does actually help in case you do not get the birth you wanted or hoped for.

Hypnobirthing did great things for me, I only did it with my second, and I would recommend it to anyone.
18th-Dec-2012 01:25 am (UTC)
Agreeing with this. I've had 2 natural births, after having Stadol via IV during my first birth, and there is a world of difference between them not just with the medicated vs. unmedicated, but also in having birth coaches who were informed, involved, and aware. Being prepared and informed, understanding how labor and delivery happen (the physical and EMOTIONAL changes of what your body is trying to accomplish), having pain coping strategies that match how you normally cope with pain that you have PRACTICED with your partner, and have a supportive and capable partner are huge steps towards having a good birth experience. But the other things are being flexible and keeping an open mind - remembering that birth is unpredictable and somethings things happen that call for us to make last minute decisions and do things differently. When I tell someone to 'keep an open mind' regarding their birth, I mean don't get completely invested in having a specific, ideal birth. Be informed about the problems that can arise during labor, and make a plan that incorporates what you want in those situations - things like failure to progress, breech or transverse presentation, and fetal distress - as well as how you want to deal with pain and all the other basics of labor.

Getting a doula (or not) is a complicated decision. Your wishes and your partner's need to be discussed. I didn't have one for any of my deliveries, and I won't for the next one. My husband is really goal-oriented and capable of helping me to stay on task. There are lots of reasons to get a doula, but a doula should NOT supplant your partner unless that's what he wants. She should support both of you and help you to have the experience you want.

I loved our Bradley birth classes because of all the information about how the body works and changes during pregnancy and labor. Plus I've generally got a 'relax and deal with it' attitude towards pain, and relaxation is key to Bradley techniques.

Edited at 2012-12-18 01:30 am (UTC)
18th-Dec-2012 02:46 am (UTC)
Thanks for this reply. I am still leaning pretty strongly against a doula. I think this time could be a really special time for me to bond with my husband and I am not that stoked about paying this stranger lady to stand there. I have a friend who has offered to come and I find her to be a very soothing presence, so I feel like I'd rather have someone I know and love (and who my husband knows and really likes) there then someone who might make me feel stressed out.

Also I don't really look at my birth plan as a plan for any ideal or perfect birth. I just figured it was a good way to let my husband and the medical pros know what I'd prefer. Frankly in an ideal world I'd just wake up one morning and the baby would arrive at my doorstop via FedEx!
18th-Dec-2012 03:29 am (UTC)
It would be so awesome if the stork really did deliver babies to the front door in little baskets. Or like in Star Trek where they could just lock on to baby with a transporter beam and beam it out.

Your birth team should be people who you (and your husband) trust and like, and who will respect your boundaries. If your friend is really serious about coming, I'd have her attend a birth class with you or read some of the books you're using, and of course discuss what it is you'd like in various situations. I think about 90% of the coach's job is just to be encouraging and supportive, to provide you with whatever help they can (through massage or pain relief techniques or simply helping you focus), and to remind you that you're doing a great job.

I'd highly recommend reading Husband Coached Childbirth - it's full of good information about the stages of labor. The tone is not great (it was originally written my a male OB in the 60s and hasn't been fully overhauled in spite of it's various up dates, so it's at best very paternal, which I disliked), but the information provided was very helpful. I thought it contained more in-depth and better presented information than Natural Birth the Bradley Way (HCC is the basic Bradley method book).
18th-Dec-2012 04:04 am (UTC)
We, too, are Bradley Birth grads (took the class with #1 - used the info/prep for all 4). I love doulas, I have friends who are doulas, I think doulas do a world of good. But I never wanted or used one in birth because my husband sounds a lot like yours. We're a great team, he knows me very well and knows what I need, he WANTED to be in that role (some men don't - and that's okay). I couldn't see bringing a stranger into birth "team" - even though, by birth, ideally the doula is no longer a stranger.

So here's another vote for Bradley =)
18th-Dec-2012 04:30 am (UTC)
I am of the same opinion about doulas - they are a great resource, but not everyone needs or wants one, and not everyone can afford one. My husband and I discussed one, but after taking our classes and doing all the homework, we decided we didn't think we'd need one. I feel incredibly blessed to have my husband - he can drive me absolutely bonkers, but he's a great partner.
17th-Dec-2012 09:46 pm (UTC)
I think it's up to each woman personally. I will likely end up with medication (i.e epidural) just because I suspect I'll need it.
17th-Dec-2012 09:49 pm (UTC)
Definitely get a doula. I think having one is what got me through two unmediated births.

In general, I found it helpful to read a lot of natural birth stories to help myself mentally prepare. But everyone's different! Prepare for labor physically and mentally the same way you'd prepare for any grueling endeavor.
17th-Dec-2012 09:57 pm (UTC)
I had a natural birth in a hospital, and it was pretty much an "ideal" birth. I had a very easy early labor experience at home (didn't hurt any more than menstrual cramps) for the first 24 hours, then went to the hospital when my contractions got about 5 minutes apart, and when my labor pains increased I was able to use the tub in the hospital with a jet in my back. Then when it was time to push (at 7:30 am after being in labor for over 24 hours) she was out in 25 minutes. I had no idea this was fast, I didn't understand why the nurses couldn't believe this was my first. haha! I had no tears and no complications other than my daughter was delivered so quickly that she fractured her collarbone. However, a broken collarbone is apparently not all that uncommon as a birth injury and she was totally healed up within 2 weeks because newborns are amazing and their skeleton is basically cartilage so that it can be flexible.

My main reasons for wanting a natural birth were (in no particular order): fear of needles, wanting to be able to labor in any position, knowing how it effects the breastfeeding relationship, knowing how it effects the baby, wanting to be able to feel it when pushing so I could feel if I was going too fast (I was afraid of tearing for this reason).

What got me through it: laboring in a jacuzzi tub, my partner attending childbirth classes (that were taught by a midwife who advocated for natural birth) so that he understood why it was important and what to expect, having another advocate (in my case it was my mom, who is a huge support for me. If your mom wouldn't be a good person for you I seriously suggest hiring a doula, or seeking out a student doula who will work for free in exchange for the experience. Having another person there to support you, and also important, support your husband) in the room, and having a midwife instead of an OB.

Other factors in my situation: I did not have any early interventions, so my labor was natural and not pitocin driven. Every person I have personally talked to about their birth experience felt that they could not handle labor after being induced and ended up getting an epidural. I also was lucky because my water never broke on its own, and my midwife broke it for me at 9 cm. Honestly, that last centimeter I labored for was the hardest part, for me, by far.

I would also say that it is important to let labor begin naturally. Being 9 months pregnant kind of sucks at times, but trying to make labor begin before your body is truly ready is a recipe for interventions and disappointment.

Congrats and good luck! :-)
17th-Dec-2012 10:19 pm (UTC)
I liked hypnobirthing so much that I took the instructors course.
17th-Dec-2012 10:30 pm (UTC)
<3 your icon.
17th-Dec-2012 10:32 pm (UTC)
I read the book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" and I think that it really helped me make informed decisions.

I ultimately had to be induced with my first but I was absolutely adamant that I did NOT want any pain medications. I didn't want an epidural because I didn't want it to stall my labor (which was already a long enough induction at 36 hours) because I REFUSED to have a C-Section unless it was a big emergency. I guess it was almost like a mantra and I told myself that basically from the time I found out I was pregnant all the way until I finished pushing out my daughter. I just focused on other things besides the pain and didn't let anyone talk to me about pain, we just talked about other things and watched TV and things while I labored.
17th-Dec-2012 10:56 pm (UTC)
I highly recommend having an open mind when you go in because you never know what may happen, how you are going to feel, etc. But this goes well beyond your birth plan and into parenting. You may have it all set in concrete exactly how you are going to do things and you find that it just isn't working the way you want so you have to change it. And if you want to judge, feel free. I went epidural free for 34 of my 38 hours of pharmaceutically induced torture labor. I repeated to myself over and over "this too shall pass" and "it won't last forever". It really helped. But I felt like I was in my own right mind throughout my labor. I said "eff it" and got the epidural at hour 34 because I reached the point of I JUST DON'T CARE - GET IT OUT, but it was a DARN good thing I did because at hour 38, it went from everything was all roses and rainbows to "we need to get this baby out ASAP, something is wrong". I was devastated, crushed, heartbroken, etc. I am not good with medical things and this was just extremely overwhelming. The fact that I was dead-set against it, and it happened anyway, made it all that much worse, IMO.

My advice, do not have a pharmaceutical induction unless absolutely necessary and hire a doula who can easily help you through labour, guide your decision making in the event you make a sudden change from your birth plan, and just be an additional all-around help.
17th-Dec-2012 11:01 pm (UTC)
I was "prepared" by paying out of pocket for a home birth and not being insured. drugs would have been a very, very expensive trip to the hospital.
18th-Dec-2012 06:34 pm (UTC)
LOL, oh god, your icon.
17th-Dec-2012 11:46 pm (UTC)
What are the reasons why you don't want epidural? I'm curious, i have no decisions but I'm considering both sides
18th-Dec-2012 01:05 am (UTC)
well people mentioned a lot of the reasons here, but many include:

* i want to avoid the cascade of interventions that can often lead to a c-section.

* i am not a big fan of drugs in general and want to give myself over to the process rather than feeling high and removed. i *really* have a low tolerance for drugs and alcohol even a little bit of caffeine can severely affect my mood, so i am really reluctant to put any unnecessary chemicals in my system.

* epidurals and pitocin and the other interventions can have the effect of lengthening the whole labour process

* i think the body in normal circumstances can send you cues about when and how to push and from what i've heard and read epidural disconnects you from all that.

* the natural birthing process can be very beneficial for the child (exposure you to useful bacteria, reduced respiratory problems, comes out more alert and ready to breastfeed) and mother (less groggy, quicker recovery)



18th-Dec-2012 02:33 am (UTC)
In some cases an epidural can help you to relax and dilate. I was hell bent on an unmedicated vbac and after 29 hours of labor was begging for an epidural regardless of my husband and doula trying their best to encourage me. I truly believe the epidural helped me to relax and go from 7 to 9 cm in an hour and have a vbac, which was my ultimate goal.

I personally think "keeping an open mind" means that you never know what could happen once you're in labor so it's best to be prepared to change your plans depending on the situation you find yourself in.
20th-Dec-2012 05:19 am (UTC)
Also potential vomiting, headaches, drop in blood pressure, pain of receiving a giant needle in your back, fetal distress and drop in heartrate...
17th-Dec-2012 11:59 pm (UTC)
Check out naturalbirth too, there are lots of great natural birth stories and advice as well.

From my observations as a doula and a postpartum nurse I would say that if you go in prepared, in a natural birth friendly hospital with a supportive care provider you are more likely to end up with a natural birth. People who say "I want to go natural, but...." usually end up with an epidural. I would say about 99% of our patients get epidurals, the 1% who don't either a) had a super fast labor and there was no time for an epidural or b) were prepared ahead of time and planned it that way. I rarely hear people say "I wasn't sure if I wanted an epidural, but it wasn't that bad so I didn't get one." I think if people have an epidural in their mind as a back-up then when things get tough, that's where they go. You have to have something else as your back-up. Having a doula will definitely help.
18th-Dec-2012 01:08 am (UTC)
Thanks for this info!
18th-Dec-2012 12:06 am (UTC)
I just had my natural birth on the 14th. I did have to have pitocin to move the labor along because my waters broke and contractions weren't progressing. We tried nipple stimulation for as long as the doctors allowed (past their comfort level). My husband's advice to your husband :

Establish "green, yellow, red " gradiated safe words for pain level. This helped me as well. I was more willing to say yellow than admit defeat. He found it useful to help him hold off suggesting pain meds even though he wanted to.

For every intervention suggested ask what other hospital mandated interventions will go along with it. Of course ask the associated risks. We found that the hospital didn't fully explain their policies on associated interventions until we already had agreed to them. Example : pit required constant fetal monitoring which had me bedridden because the fetus wasn't cooperating in other positions. We then had to consider internal monitoring in order to change position


We've heard that natural births are much easier if the baby is facing your
back (OA) rather than sunny side up (OP) so we did a lot in the last weeks and the birth to promote that position.

My advice :I was less present in my birth than I thought I would be. It was extremely important that my husband advocate for.me as I was too focused on other things. If you or your husband don't think he can handle it alone then the Doula might be necessary.



Good luck!

18th-Dec-2012 01:24 am (UTC)
This. DO everything you can to ensure ideal fetal positioning. You may not be able to control it, but it makes a HUGE HUGE difference.
18th-Dec-2012 02:36 am (UTC)
Yes it does! My first baby was OP and I wound up with a c-section. This time I knew she was posterior at a 40w u/s and did everything I could to get her to turn before I went into labor at 40w5d and was successful with a vbac.
18th-Dec-2012 01:04 am (UTC)
I think nowadays too many people rely on the epidural and just think nothing of it.

With my first, the epidural nearly killed me. I had a cerebral-spinal fluid leak because it was done wrong and my blood pressure crashed, it was down to 54/26 at one point. I could hear everyone around me talking, but I was unable to respond or, "wake up." Scariest, most traumatic experience of my life. I'm more than likely going to have a repeat c-section this time (for a few reasons) and I'm almost tempted to ask for general anesthesia again because I am literally more scared of the epidural than anything else.</p>

Not saying this is the norm, or this will happen to anyone else (my current OB has only ever heard of 1 other case of it in the 40+ years he's been doing it) but still, there ARE risks so good for you for trying to do without!

18th-Dec-2012 02:48 am (UTC)
First off. Hire a doulaaaaaaa.


second off. My way of saying "keep an open mind" doesn't mean, keep an open mind to the meds, but merely, do what my doula suggested. I was terrified of a cesarean. So what she assigned as my "homework" was to watch videos on it, and then process how I would feel if I had one. I got to birth and the fear wasn't there. She pretty much knew I VERY LIKELY would not be having one, but she felt that my fear itself was blocking me from having an awesome birth. Basically, my doula was 100% right, and the yoga teacher I had was 100% wrong. Yoga teacher was all "don't read any negative birth stories". No, you should, you should prepare yourself JUST IN CASE things go wonky- such as.... say you have a prolapsed cord. And even if there is very little chance you will have a c-section, write up a "CYA JUST IN CASE" c-section birth plan. (dad gets skin to skin, breastfeeding on the operating table...etc)


And i did end up having an awesome birth!

Btw, epidurals SUCK ASS. You can't get of bed, you have to have an IV, and you can get the spinal headache. DONT DO IT. JUST DONT. That spinal headache iS NOT WORTH IT HOLY HELL.
18th-Dec-2012 03:57 am (UTC)
Get in the water! I used water in labor for #s 1, 2, and 4 and birthed 4 in the water (at home). My (homebirth) midwife wouldn't allow me to use water with #3 for fear that it would slow a prolonged labor down, but I really think it would have helped me progress... and not transfer to the hospital for an epidural - the ONLY one of my 4 where I used any pain meds.

I'm not going to say that #4 was pain-free, but it was the least painful of the 4.

The other thing that seemed to help was regular chiropractic adjustments in late pregnancy. I used this with #2 and 4, and they were my shortest labors (12hrs and 3 hrs, respectively) - baby was lined up properly, my spine and pelvis were properly aligned, and when it came time to push, baby was out in 3 contractions or less.
18th-Dec-2012 06:49 pm (UTC)
For me it was about preparation. I did Hypnobabies, which I think is similar to hypnobirthing, and I practiced a LOT. I was sick of it by the time my daughter arrived :) But it was worth it. I had a wonderful, natural hospital birth. I spent maybe 10 hours laboring at home and about 5 hours laboring in the hospital before she was born. A few of those hours in the hospital I spent in the tub, which was wonderful--but, it didn't really speed up my dilating at all. Oddly, what did was sitting on the toilet for a bit (I know.)

Anyway, the pain was VERY manageable for me, but it took a LOT of concentration for it to be so; I worked hard to stay relaxed. It was those moments when I lost concentration and tensed up that it really hurt. So PRACTICE that relaxation! If you want to move around (not sure if hypnobirthing allows for that; Hypnobabies does), then practice moving around while doing your hypnosis. I didn't, and all I wanted to do was be still with my eyes closed. It was fine, for the most part, but because I just wanted to lay down, I had difficulty getting into position on the squat bar, so I didn't end up using that and had a small tear.

Also, I did not have to push at all. She just... arrived. The nurse almost had to catch her. You hear about "breathing the baby down"... it really can happen. So, I agree with the open mind in case of complications, but I also believe in preparation.
18th-Dec-2012 07:01 pm (UTC)
This is really interesting.When I think about how I deal with discomfort, relaxation and stillness has been key. Quiet relaxation/meditation was a HUGE part of how I dealt with my awful morning sickness. A lot of what I've seen read so far about dealing with labour has been about moving through the pain but I am gonna explore this hypnobirthing more and see whether my husband and I can get those techniques down since I am beginning to have a feeling that being calm (if I can be) will be a big help in the process.
18th-Dec-2012 09:47 pm (UTC)
Yes, I'm very much the same way. Interestingly, I did hum/vocalize as my contractions got more intense. I wasn't loud, but I'm a pretty quiet person in general and would not have expected that I would do that. I guess it helped.

Also, my husband was fully supportive of my hypnobabies approach and we practiced the scripts they provided for him a few times, but we really didn't end up using them for the birth. He fell into this rhythm of just counting to 3 through my contractions, softly and steadily. We didn't learn this anywhere... it just sort of happened and worked for us. It gave me something to focus on and felt natural to him. So I suggest you and your husband talk through what might work best for both of you--what you need for support and what he feels comfortable doing, even if it doesn't exactly follow the hypnobirthing instructions.

We also didn't tell the nurses or doctors ahead of time what we were doing; just specified in our birth plan that we wanted a quiet, calm environment. They were great about it; the nurse mentioned the epidural once when we arrived as a protocol thing and said she wouldn't mention it again unless we asked.

After it was over was when we spilled the beans about hypnobabies, when they were gathered around asking, "How did you do that? That was amazing!" :)

Happy to share more if you would find it helpful!
19th-Dec-2012 11:09 pm (UTC)
Can you have an out of hospital birth? Or go to a midwife instead of a doctor? I was induced with an epidural with my first (I have nothing bad to say about it - they started the pit, I had back labor and began puking my guts out, a few hours in I was in agony, so I opted for an epidural. It went perfect. Popped it in and they kept it at a decent dose so I could feel when I had to push. Full labor took about 12 hours max and I got some sleep before pushing :: shrugs :: ) This time around, I'm going through a freestanding birthing center. Primarily what I like is that they are more focused on the woman than on procedure - I don't have to gear up for a fight, they're already listening.

In general, whenever I tell a woman to have an open mind, it's only because I've had people be utterly devastated that their birth didn't go the way they planned, like they failed at childbirth (I wish I were kidding).

If a hospital is your only option for whatever reason, I'd echo the doula or well-trained friend. Husbands are great, but it can be a lot of pressure and extra support will do wonders.
26th-Dec-2012 05:28 pm (UTC)
I picked a safe word for my first daughters birth. I could beg and plead and whine as much as I wanted without uttering the safe word. Of course everything sort of goes out the window when your water breaks at 34 weeks and you are trying NOT to hAve a baby.

I got my natural, full term birth (9 lbs 12 oz) with dd2. As someone with "no pain tolerance", if I can do it, anyone can.
This page was loaded Nov 1st 2014, 8:46 am GMT.